i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
