All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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