Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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