Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
