Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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