If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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