i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
