Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
