went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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