I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
