just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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