i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
