Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
