Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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