Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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