it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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