Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
