I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
