We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
