My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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