Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
