So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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