you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
