i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
