dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to calm my uterus...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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