are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
