...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
