ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
