the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
