Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
