I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
