Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
