I wanna passion pit in your ass
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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