booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
