Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
