I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
