Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
