it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
