Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
