there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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