I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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