whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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