Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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