I heard we made out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
