Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
