So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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