How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
