I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
