Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
