I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
