If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
