I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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